Don't be 'that' guy!

I was going to pick on triathletes again for only wanting to do freestyle, hating rest and avoiding flip turns but that can wait for another day. What is freshly on my mind right now is a fellow at swimming that I affectionately refer to as Tweedledum.

By all accounts this is a nice fellow but I wouldn't know because the way he swims makes me not want to know him. In fact it pisses me off so much that it is all I can do to say hello to him. And I don't want to say that Tweedledum is a moron but he certainly swims like one. I don't think he does it on purpose, I just think he is oblivious to what he is doing. And that my friends is something you don't want to do. He is the prefect example of someone that you don't want to be like, so I say 'Don't be like him'.

Now, I am sure you are wondering what it is that this fellows does. Don't worry, I'd risk you being like him if I didn't tell you.

It all starts with warm-up. He dives in the water and starts with a spirit. Its not that spiriting in warm-up is bad, it should be incorporated, but it can be annoying if your just sprinting on the feet of the person in front of you. No one really wants someone on there ass at anytime but in warm-up it can be particularly annoying because each person has their own method of warming-up. People like to switch up strokes and do some drills from time to time.

Every now and then Tweedledum will decide to pass, which is fine. If your swimming faster than someone in warm-up you should go around instead on sitting on someones feet. But if you do decide to pass you owe it to the person who is now behind you to maintain pace and space. But Tweedledum will, for some unknown reason, break into breaststroke for the next 200 meters. This is a piss off because it is not easy to pass breaststroke kick without being kicked. So your options are now slow down or risk getting kicked.

Warm-up is a little more relaxed than main sets so you can get away with a little more so all could be forgotten if Tweedledum swam the main sets like a sane human-being. But he does not. I don't know if he has an over-sized ego to match his gut or if he is just a idiot but Tweedledum always insists on starting main sets near the top of the lane. And none of us really bother to say anything because the alternative is swimming in front of him and having him sprint until he can touch your feet and then either a) dragging him or b) having him ask to go in front. But the problem is that, to my knowledge, he has never ever finished a set without blowing up like an atomic bomb. It really is very spectacular. First his back turns red and then his round face starts to resemble a rotting tomato. Then he starts huffing and puffing and foaming at the mouth like a rabit dog.

Of course this means that if you were going behind him you now have to make a 5 sec jump in your pace. Which can be tough if your already under stress. It is almost worth the pain to see him completely broken, slumped in the corner of the lane struggling to find the energy to say 'go'. If your lucky your now going fast enough to prevent him from getting right on your feet. And if that is the case, Tweedledum will continue to drop in the lane until he finds someone that has unknowingly volunteered to pull him through the rest of practice.

Finally, the last thing Tweedledum does that pisses me off is cheat during kick sets. One morning we were doing 100s kick with the first person leaving when the 3rd person touches with about 8 people in a long course lane. Tweedledum decides to go 3rd, I was going 2nd and rather talented swimmer was going 1st. I was completely out kicking Tweedledum and the rest of the lane, expect for the guy leading, as would be somewhat expected, which is why we had that order. But Tweedledum, instead of doing the set properly wanted to keep up with us and swam breaststroke. Given that he was setting the pace for the lane this was an inconsiderate decision that resulted in the rest of the lane being dropped.

So, please to sum up, don't be that guy. Don't swim up the person in front of you's ass. Don't start a set balls to the wall if you don't think you can finish it balls to the wall. And please don't cheat in kick set or race drill sets, they are given to you for a reason.